A Thousand Years -

Christina Perri - A thousand years...



This song pretty much sums it up!
It's the way he makes my heart beat faster,
the smiles summoned from the butterflies in my stomach,
and the security I feel in his arms.
In my wildest dreams, I've never imagined I'd be this blessed in life...in love.
What started as a heart break... became an opportunity.
I will never regret us.
All the beauty he has brought to my life...leaves me speechless.
I know I have God to thank.
Today is a good day, tomorrow will be a good day.
The rest of my life will be filled with good days because I have you,
my best friend, my lover, and my home.

Standing firm

May started off quite busy! Working most of the time but the past two weekends have been fun. Bumping into old faces. It's nice vein around people from time to time to socialize and share details. I am most excited about the end of May!!! Eeep!!! I will be able to get away w/Ant for a few days w/close family and friends! I am very excited about the group that's coming this year!!! I will get to travel w/drama free people!!!! YAY!!!!

This is really the only thing I have to look forward to all year...simply because it's the only trip Ant and I get to go..together! What can I say, my baby's a hard working man! Lol I don't know if I'll go again next year so it's pretty special for me this year! Ahhhh!!!! It's almost here!!! I think everyone that is coming really needs this vacay! We got a beautiful townhouse...2.5 weeks baby! I can almost hear the waves!

Tired...

Yup. That pretty much sums it up. I am sure the roles have flipped flopped but I am...tired! In confidence I can say I've tried then, and I am trying now but I get it now. I get that it's dead and done. I can respect it. I will respect it. What's the point of putting yourself out there for someone who will not pay you any mind!?!? :( still a bit sad over everything but I can do no more... Because apparently nothing will be good enough! I know everything will be alright over time. I Just hope it won't become a tug-a-war effect on mutual friends. If so, I believe I will lose my sanity! Well, tomorrow is Monday so it's back to the grind!

The way things are going, it be better if you put a gun to my heart and blow it out...sigh

I am not sad...or upset. I must accept! Deep breathes!

'Human"

I would give my life to be human....



Wow it's already April..and soon MAY! Little has changed...but mentally I've been riding on a carousel. I've been going in a circle and slowly...watching the people around me fade in and out. Is it a bad thing....not really. At the end of the day...it is like people say - "At least you gave it your all, there is nothing more you can do." Now that I am on the other side of things...I now understand that statement in all of its entirety. Every experience is a lesson learned...and so I will continue to learn. I can not change the past...I can only reflect.

Listening to the radio on a late drive home, a caller was pouring her heart out to the radio host about her childhood lover and how he was cheating...blah blah blah. And of course it was typical he would promise not to cheat again and that he'd do anything to stay in the relationship. Then she said "I don't know if he can change." The host replies, "Yes, yes he can, but does he want to?" DING DING DING! That statement made me realize a thing or two about my relations. And then it gave me some closer. Lets see what time will bring....

Swallow

I feel myself sinking into the great quicksand of blah!!!! Someone throw me a rope! Gonna organize and clean my life...starting with my room! The freakin walls are caving in and the days merge into night. I need space!!!! Since I can't go out and get my own... I must work with what I have! Clean room, clean up my life...and clean out my head!!!! -_-