Time...and the wondering mind

It's been quite awhile since I've visited.
I've been busy, I've been free, but my mind steadily wonders.
It's been quite stressful, it's been quite leisurely.
I've gone in and out of reality.
Somedays I am here and aware, other times I am dust in the wind.
I am still exploring.
I have lots to learn.
I am still learning how to cope.
To count my losses and make with my gains.
I am mostly selfless,but when I am selfish I lose.
It's quite the vicious cycle.
I have grown tired of this merry-go-round.
Somedays I wish for the past for I am too afraid of the future.
Other times I wish to fast forward past this middle time.
I am grateful for who I love and grateful for who I can not.
I pray my soul does not grow tired, I know in God's hand he keeps.
This path was drawn for me, therefore I will keep walking.
Through the dark forest and dry desert, the lone star will guide me.
My final destination, I do not know, but walk I will keep til my feet grow tire.
I hope for happiness everywhere, I hope for it above all my desires.
Not just for me, but the persons who need it most.
I know I am blessed, that I can never argue.
Therefore, I encourage others to fight for happiness as well.