The way things are going, it be better if you put a gun to my heart and blow it out...sigh

I am not sad...or upset. I must accept! Deep breathes!

'Human"

I would give my life to be human....



Wow it's already April..and soon MAY! Little has changed...but mentally I've been riding on a carousel. I've been going in a circle and slowly...watching the people around me fade in and out. Is it a bad thing....not really. At the end of the day...it is like people say - "At least you gave it your all, there is nothing more you can do." Now that I am on the other side of things...I now understand that statement in all of its entirety. Every experience is a lesson learned...and so I will continue to learn. I can not change the past...I can only reflect.

Listening to the radio on a late drive home, a caller was pouring her heart out to the radio host about her childhood lover and how he was cheating...blah blah blah. And of course it was typical he would promise not to cheat again and that he'd do anything to stay in the relationship. Then she said "I don't know if he can change." The host replies, "Yes, yes he can, but does he want to?" DING DING DING! That statement made me realize a thing or two about my relations. And then it gave me some closer. Lets see what time will bring....