A little break

Today I had a terrible toothache so I called in and took a day off! It was much needed! The weekends are nice but there's usually a lot going on that I don't have much time to myself. Plus the next 2 weekends are going to be busy busy since its my baby sister's big 25! Haha I am kinda excited because it's an excuse to get all dolled up and go be social. It's gonna be tiring but I gotta make sure she has a great birthday! :) a big sister's work is never done! Glad I only have one to look after!

It's June, and in a few days it will be July! Wow is the time passing. I can not lie, ready to get the year over with because it will mean I survived another year! Haha I will be making an exciting transition soon! I am a little fearful of what's to come but at this point I am pretty desperate for some change! Gotta jump in with both feet and hope for the best! Fingers crossed!

Lately my emotions have been on a roller coaster! I know it's something I need to pray about to find peace!!! Somedays I can handle it and other days I want to run and hide!!! Maybe it's just that TOM But we see! My hormones are always running wild! Haha got my head all screwed up too! Women and our emotions! Smh!

I want to take a trip and the end of July but where!? I figure dallas cause its far but close enough to go w/a small group! Gotta figure out my plans ASAP since it will soon approach! -_- I wish everything was free or we all we rich! Haha I know, in my dreams right!?!?

Realization:
The present can never return to the past. Relationships grow apart or they grow closer. Sometimes it is not what you didn't do but what you can do if given the opportunity. If the opportunity is never given, then pray for peace and acceptance. Be happy about the growth and embrace it instead of taking it as rejection. The world will not end and your heart will heal. Let time be your friend and silence be your serenity. Breathe!

aquarians

     So I have a friend that posted some pics from this blog on facebook and since I am into reading my horoscope I wanted to check it out! :) Who doesn't like to learn new things about themselves, I know I do! Coming across this fun fact about Aquarius people, I can totally relate!!! It is a major misunderstanding amongst the people in my inner circle. I often hear concerns about never sharing my "problems" or hard times in my life. It's not that I don't trust my friends or favor one over another or have a perfect life....sharing personal problems and putting my life on the table isn't really my thing. I really am not an open book! hahaha Everyone has characteristics that are hard to understand....this is mine. :) And I am ok with it!

     I do however have some things brewing inside my mind. It's just something I have no control over and have to learn to accept and be at peace with. I have to learn to not have expectations of the situation and continue to be positive. Some days it's easy, other days I let it get the worse of me. I believe there is a deeper problem but I can not jump the gun. I just have to let be....what is meant to be! The work week is almost over, I can't wait for Saturday to spend some much needed time with a group of people I literally grew up with! lol I am pretty excited because this small group of friends and family because they are my safe place! I rarely have to censor myself or calculate my moves with them, it's all about having a good time and making memories! It's very refreshing when I get to be with them....hopefully it won't be the last! :)

dear old friend...patience

As I reflect on this year...a lot has happened....and look at the time, it's already June. Man oh man, where does the time go? I've graduated, no job! I mean I have a paying job but no career as a friend likes to put it. Sigh. Still holding onto the hope that my time will come. I am quite tired of working my body into the ground! I can not deal with the "labor," my poor body is breaking down!!! I am becoming an old bag of bones! lol

I still job hunt here and there. Some days I feel driven, other days it's just flat out depressing!!! No matter what, I do have faith. I will give it til the end of the year, if nothing changes...it's looks like I will have to make a life change! Not getting any younger for sure!!! The real world is "scary" hahaa

Recently enjoyed my Destin Memorial vacation! Man, why did we all have to leave! It was so bittersweet!!! Even though we had 2 full days, it just wasn't enough! I am still sad that I am back in this miserable place! I know, Baton Rouge isn't that bad but dammit...I want to go back! haaahhhaaa Hopefully I can squeeze in one more trip but who knows. After graduating, it's kind of hard to schedule things ahead of time.

I am finally working the morning shift hours! It's not so bad since I have the afternoon to enjoy, but lately I've been sleeping my life away. FAIL! haha I don't know what it is anymore, my body just doesn't respond the same way. I really need to get my life together!!!! >_< Well my life and my health!!! Definitely need to draw up a short term goal/plan for myself. Need to make a to-do list for 2012. lol Yea, we'll see how that goes.

Ant and I are doing well. I love that kid, he is my life. Although we have our moments, it keeps me on my toes. It definitely reminds me to not be too comfortable and complacent because that's when you start slipping and "letting go" of yourself! It is a joy to be challenged and work towards a common goal with Anthony. Don't get me wrong...there are some days when I'm just dead weight. haha Thank goodness I have someone who appreciates me on a good day and loves me even when it's bad! :D Counting my blessings! ^_^

now for some free style:

Patience
Some days I have plenty
Other days I fall short
Lately, I've been caught in between
It would be easier to wash my hands clean
But these mixed signals cause me to linger
Hoping for recognition, or even just a little attention
It's hard
It's even harder to know I'm pushed a side
Am I suppose to wait
Am I suppose to leave
What would make you happiest
What would make you complete
I am human, just like everyone else here in the crowd
Somehow, hugs became tears
Laughter is now replaced with silence
Oh, and this silence it rings so loud in my ears
My heart it breaks
It slowly crumbles as the days pass
I know I should forget,
But it's hard to forget someone that was so dear
The time and dedication
Some how only took seconds to go up in flames
Should I have a funeral
Bury these feelings
Should I have a party to celebrate
Caught in the middle
A casualty of war
I think soon it will be time
Time to throw in the towel
I never stop fighting
But out of respect I must abide
It is not just you that is hurting
I've too felt the burn of the fire
Please just let me know what it is you want
So that I can dig up some courage
The courage that is needed
to have Patience
For someone that perhaps
Will never come back